God hits me in the most simplistic and completely unreal ways sometimes. lately it seems like i don't understand people and where their minds are at. as sad as this is to admit, reading novels and watching girly movies makes one believe that the fantasy world of perfect people and outstanding friendships is true in all ways. i have some really great friends, but no one person that i feel solidly connected to. to at least be my 100% real self that is. even in Christians today it feels like I have to screen plans like watching movies and certain music. to me it seems so plainly obvious that some entertainment today is just not appropriate. i realize in myself that i'm a bit sensitive to some things than others cause that's just the way God shaped my heart. but in doing that, i feel like i'm constantly battling with relaxing and trusting my friends instincts and being on guard and watching my heart and mind.
so just when i start to feel about as lonely as, God brings me into a place of freedom in being shown that God too feels the same way as i do. wishing that someone would follow after all of His ways and seeing that no one person is meeting His expectations. getting frustrated and throwing His hands up in the air saying, "how can you not see it!" and yet...sticking by them anyway? sticking by me anyway. because i sure don't devote enough of my whole heart to what He asks of me everyday. even in the simpliest of ways. man...what a revelation. i want to stick by the people that sometimes infuriate me with their ignorance and to love them beyond that.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
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