Wednesday, September 30, 2009

flip flops

I have a new found confession. the past little while i was digging myself a hole of denial but I've finally come to terms with my little secret and am ready to announce it to the world... I'm a flip flopper.

I didn't use to be. I used to be sure, confirmed and knowing where my life was headed. And then I left high school and didn't think all of my decisions through. Struggling to grasp at any straw that was still in sight and hoping that this would be the path that would lead me to eternal happiness. Each time I would be pumped at this discovery of figuring my life out and then half way through realized it wasn't initially what I thought it would be. Thus resulting in appearing as a flip flopper. a stereotype I've fought with all of my ability in the past two or so years but now I'm stuck at yet another cross roads. still trying to figure myself out, my life out, and still grasping at straws hoping to find something I'd love to pursue for the rest of my life and at the same time meet people's expectations of what it means to be successful.

but then I realized... I'm 20. yes, married and 20 but still... 20. why do I have to have everything figured out right now? other 20 year olds are working crappy jobs, living in little dumps and are trying to put the pieces of their life together too. so why do I have this vision of needing to have my entire life put together as soon as possible? i'm not sure. but i'm determined to shake the stress off and focus on enjoying life and going with the flow instead of trying to create a picture perfect masterpiece. 

it may be fall, but i'm going to enjoy my flip flop-ping... :D

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